Ignore Facebook Friend Requests! Don’t Explain!

Facebook private message from Ellen Skagerberg to Kathleen Stanton in response to a Friend Request ~ 5 April

Hi, Kathi,

Thanks for the Friend request! I feel very friendly toward YOU, but I’m not so friendly toward Facebook these days and am trying to reduce my time here — partly by narrowing my various lists and pages so it isn’t as compelling and addictive to me.

I’ll look forward to seeing you (and others) in person instead, and I hope my emotional health will improve by focusing more on “real life” interactions.

Best wishes,

~~ Ellen

Facebook private message from Kathleen Stanton to Ellen Skagerberg ~ 15 April

You know Ellen, in my entire life I’ve never had anyone tell me that they had too many friends – so I’m out of luck. Very disturbing, especially since we’ve known each other for over 25 years.




I have 309 Facebook Friends, and I’m ready to let go of half of them. I checked, and Kathi has 51 Facebook Friends, so I’m guessing she’s new and still wants more, and she hasn’t had time yet to experience the hazards.

Kathi is the first wife of a long-time friend of ours. (Interestingly, another of this friend’s exes, Tammy, was also offended when I declined a Facebook Friend request from her. Tammy had once been a close friend and I thought I was extending the courtesy of a reply, but I received a similarly angry response from Tammy about how insensitive I was, and how I should just ignore it instead of rejecting her by explaining.)

WE’RE ALL IN OUR FIFTIES AND SIXTIES! So, kids — no, the drama never ends.

Word: most people would rather have others Ignore their Friend requests than get a personal message in response — they really don’t need to know why.(I’m an exception, so if you don’t want me sending you Facebook Friend requests, you can let me know.)

Now I’m thinking, If you don’t know me well enough to know that I might say “no” and tell you why, you don’t know me well enough for me to accept your Friend request, and you’re probably too thin-skinned to put up with me long-term anyway.

P.S. Conflicted angry people typically write nastygrams and then close with “Peace.” Like, “Peace, baby, because it’s all your fault.”


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